Joe Potosi, who is the author of when the dust settled, between a rock and a hard place shares his pain and loss as a result of COVID. He has over 20 years sober but with things being tough it caused cravings to drink. A powerful discussion on cause and effect.

Cause and effect/ Relapse prevention sits at the core to this idea because we plan for things that will happen, might happen or could happen. Sometimes to plan for the unexpected. When does it become too much, This obviously depends on the person.

a highly debated topic refers to our minds desire to correlate a cause with a belief that it has created a specific effect.

More commonly said, cause and effect. Cause and effect has a basses in a fallacy to logic because we can’t always prove without a reasonable doubt that one thing completely caused the result of another.

I could easily argue that a plane crashed causing the death of the passengers as easily arguable but what about events happening in a persons life causing them to make poor choices later. These are arguments used in courts to get reduced sentences for convicted murderers by arguing that childhood events led them to make the choices they made in the future.

But I also couldn’t argue that this wasn’t the case because just as it is almost impossible to prove cause and effect, it is just as impossible to disprove it because we would have to be able to take all factors into consideration that we can’t see such as the genetic makeup, possible variables regarding their character, traits, personality, and even mental health. Were mental health issues present before the occurrence.

This has been a tough year for many of us, as I can hardly imagine not knowing someone or knowing of someone who has died as it is estimated at over 600,000 deaths.

It is estimated as over 80,000 deaths of drug overdoses in 2020. Financial hardships for many and for those of us in recovery; discomfort, pain, immense sadness, and in some cases unbearable anger can cause a battle within us that I like to call those whispers of Beelzebub and benefactor, the kindly helper.

Paxton Dickerson is a creative man with a powerful strength in pulling people into recovery by getting them inspired, interested, and motivated in finding a better life. He is extremely unique in his tactics as you will be pulled outside the box.

He is the founder of Mechanics of Recovery, a motivational speaker, and I can't avoid the English idiom referring to perfection. I am speaking of his clothes so we must say, "dressed to the nines."

Since most people coming into treatment are seeking to work on a problem that they don’t think they have and learn from someone they don’t think they will learn from, Paxton has the ability and talent to show them otherwise. He is intelligent which makes them not thinking they will learn from someone a difficult task,

Creative people, with new ideas, are who I believe are setting the stage for the greatest success we see in working with those struggling with substance abuse.

Unless I can get someone interested in what we are doing, we are going to struggle in reaching them. Paxton works hard as we are helping these people save their lives.

Paxton Dickerson: Founder of Mechanics of Recovery. The Greatest Dressed Motivational Guru.

Here is his contact information as he can easily be reached.

https://www.instagram.com/dickersonpaxton

www.mechanicsofrecovery.com

https://www.facebook.com/paxton.dickerson.3

I want to show you what I did while early in recovery and battling those horrific cravings. As a fun bonus, we will end this singing "I Bid You Goodnight," by the grateful dead. How many know what I am talking about?

Listen to my message because it may help you. I want to share what I did after spending thirty days in a residential program while attending an outpatient program. What I eventually did, worked for me and this may help others which I hope it does.

For me, staying busy was important since my mind was still foggy but as I spent many years prior to this working with people, there was something I always taught people and it was to use our minds.

I am speaking about creativity. I can actually show you what I am talking about.

Creativity and staying busy was my answer to battling those cravings. I had days that I wanted to say fuck it and disappear again. My depression would creep in. The un-comfortability of relearning to accept that I have feelings and needing to embrace them rather than push them down or in worst case, use meth to numb myself.

As my life story is out there, for the most part, let us make fun of me and tell you a story that I don’t normally run out and tell people and it is the story of my transformation into a woman to prove that police weren't surrounding our complex.

Something that I have found to be soothing, is cracking a joke at my own expense.

I’ve defused a lot of awkward social interactions by poking fun at my past mishaps (of which there are plenty!).

I’m definitely not alone in this, either: Strange as it may sound, many of us are happiest when we can laugh at our past misfortunes and turn them into amusement.

How easily you can do so will depend in part on your disposition.

Science has started to see the value in self-mockery, too. Psychology researchers have discovered that self-deprecating humor has an unintended side effect: It happens to improve our health.

A study published in "Psychology and Individual Differences," stated as people who regularly poke fun at themselves exhibit greater levels of emotional well-being.

My guest today is Paul Berggren, who has had to deal with the absence of his son. Micah. Micah is currently being housed in the Nebraska department of corrections for charges that aren’t specifically drug related but clearly actions taken while under the influence.

Parents sacrifice their time, energy, and existence to focus on another person and raise them to the best of their ability.

Unfortunately, the person that has been focused on tends to lack any appreciation and feels entitled as they nail the parents to a cross for an excruciating sacrifice.

The question I am asked the most by families is “is there hope for my child in staying clean because he or she has failed so many times?”

The answer is always yes. Why is the relapse rate so high for these individuals and where do they go wrong?

They do not have a motivation that they control. Everybody is originally motivated by moving away from a painful experience.

A MOTIVATION FROM PAIN WILL NEVER LAST. These are all temporary consequences that will either resolve themselves or go away.

Once they disappear, using will return and new pain will arise sending them back into the cycle of recidivism.

My guest today is here to share his experience in dealing with his son who has struggled with addiction and is currently in-custody in Nebraska.

We don’t know what his son will do when he gets out but I have been communicating with his son through JPAY.

My guest Paul is here to discuss what he has gone through from the family perspective.

It may be exceedingly difficult to determine how serious someone, whether it be a family member or friend is about getting help because the decision can be very skewed by lack of money, being tired, employment problems, relationship problems, health problems and in our case today, being incarcerated.

When resolved, this may alter their course as they return to their previous lifestyle.

Many children and young adults will learn very early on the person or persons who they can use to manipulate as they use love as the tool to save them from negative consequences.

Drug and alcohol abusers aren’t stupid people and can be great actors, in general, as they will shed tears of sadness for a tank of gas from you and then leave the room with laughter as they hand their dealer the money for a bag of dope.

We all must remember that when we are dealing with someone using, they are not themselves, and are lost in a world where nothing matters but that drug.

Even though you may have unconditional love for your family member, love is not in the equation for that person whom we love and want to save.

They are not requesting your love in most cases, but instead are encouraging material things to be given because of your love.

Many will fear that if we do nothing to help, then the person may die. If you offer help and they refuse to take advantage of it, they may die.

If you continue to help as they have less incentive to change because we can do this again later, will increase the chances of relapse and an untimely death.

“Al-Anon” teaches about detachment, which is to “let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and a more manageable life.”

This is not about detaching your love for this person, but it is also about loving yourself and learning to be happy with the absence of this individual.

Someone currently using and being absent from the family can be very similar to burying a child with one exception.

Hope.

Parents, will many times, hold onto hope when they have not received news that their child died which can make that process of detachment more difficult.

“He is fine.”

“She will be home once she runs out of money.” “This is a phase.”

Hopefully, he or she does make it back, but during this hoping phase, this is a good time to start and learn to love yourself.

It is highly recommended that you get support through a self-help program like Al-Anon, meet with a therapist, and learn to heal from your grief and loss that may be negatively affecting your day to day life.

How is healthy love expressed? It starts by loving yourself.